Have you ever wondered if you can small talk or chat well?
I’m a shy guy so I’m anxious about the following scenes because I feel awkward if there is no conversation.
- business lunch with customers
- watching for my son’s soccer class with other parents
- participate in a party but no one knows
We know that some people are very good at chatting and they are having fun. You want to chat like them, don’t you?
Why do we need to chat?
I used not to care about the purpose or motivation of the chat. It’s a good thing to confirm the reason why I need to chat.
It’s a bonus point, not a failure
In the case of a business lunch, In my experience, a sales guy or someone leads the conversation, so usually, there is no problem even if I don’t chat actively.
Therefore we don’t need to chat. However if possible we want to have a good relationship with customers, and enjoy having lunch. We don’t talk about our business during lunch but we can know each other and which is eventually good for our business. There are many wonderful customers who have various experiences. If you can’t chat well, it’s not a failure. It’s a bonus point.
It’s our chance
How about the soccer class case? In this case, it’s no problem if we don’t chat with other parents, don’t we?
I think I can meet a wide range of people who are different from a working environment. They have various backgrounds. This is my chance to get information from them for example other soccer schools, professional games, and local event or restaurant information may be available.
No pressure! No need to entertain.
First of all, when you chat, you don’t have to entertain them. No need to feel pressure!
Ask questions
The motivation and purpose of the chat are to get some information or learn something from interesting people so what we need to do is ask questions.
How do we prepare questions?
“Name” is the good trigger of the 1st contact.
If we are not familiar with the person’s name or it’s difficult to pronounce or remember, we can honestly say so. And we can ask the origin of the name or ask to demonstrate the pronunciation.
If you find some “Common” thing, that is good for the topics of chat. favorite team, clothes, same trip destination, common friends or place. What we need is not knowledge but observation.
For example, when we are invited for the party no one knows or join networking dinner, at least we know the organizer or host. Or we can ask about place “Is it first time to come this place/city/building?”
If we know whom we will meet with today, we can prepare our questions in advance. If we prepare three questions, we can soften our anxiety.
If we can’t find good questions, we can ask about the person’s past. If you have a 3 hours flight and your seat is next to your boss, you can ask your boss about the success or failure story or what did the boss do or care about when the boss was in your situation or post or age.
Thank you for reading this post.
I hope you find something helpful.
Chatting is not must but nice to have. It’s a good chance and bonus point.
We don’t feel any pressure to entertain. Just ask some questions based on your motivation or purpose.
