Book review: I HEAR YOU by Michael S. Sorensen

I learned “Validation” from this book.

Validation is the activity beyond listening.

Effective validation has two components
1. It identifies a specific emotion
2. It offers justification for feeding that emotion

When I looking back, I did often invalidate such as “Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal”

80-90 percent of conversations have at least one opportunity to validate. In order words, if someone is talking to you, they are probably hoping for validation.

So we need to understand that almost all people expect us to validate.

Good tips I learned are;

1. We can validate someone even if we disagree with them
2. We can validate any emotion either positive or negative.

And we can learn 4 steps validation method below.

1. Listen Empathically
2. Validate the Emotion
3. Offer Advice or Encouragement (if appropriate)
4. Validate the Emotion Again

I learned one of the common mistakes is to advise before we validate.

I think listening is the one of important skills for engineers as well as fathers.

And I feel validation what I learned from this book is the higher-level technique than listening.

I’m sure it worth learning if you didn’t know about “validation”.

If you know about the book about “validation” please leave a comment.

I will definitely check it.