I would like to share with you 3 tips on how you can ask better.
1. Prepare questions in advance
I think this is the most important skill.
It’s so easy that everyone can do it. But before an important meeting, discussion, negotiation, would you take the time to prepare questions?
It’s Ok to take just 15 to 30 minutes to prepare questions.
I think everyone knows it’s better to prepare questions in advance. But in reality, very few people do so. We can change it today!
2. Don’t use “WHY”
“Why?” makes the other person uncomfortable because it requires logic to answer the question. So use “What” or “How” instead of “Why”. I know it’s not easy.
For example, if we want to ask “Why did you make the mistake?”, we can ask “What made you take action?” I feel it’s easier to answer the latter question because I don’t need to explain the reason.
On contrary, I think it’s good training to ask myself the question “Why”. We can train our logical thinking.
By the way, have you heard of “Five whys (or 5 whys) ?”
It is a way of finding out the root cause of problems by repeating the question “Why”. Each answer leads to the next question. From my experience, it was typically end with human error as a root cause and then double-check or systematic check was the solution.
We did train our logical thinking. As we got used to it we could reach the solution faster.
3. Don’t interrogate
Questioning should not be an interrogation which is to keep asking questions without disclosing our information.
I’ve been told that my question is like an interrogation.
My intention is to understand the other person’s opinion first before giving my opinion. Listening to others first is a good approach. Let others talk the way they want to, and then ask some questions later.
Moreover, when we use “why” for our questions, immediately it becomes like an interrogation. So we should avoid the combination of “Why” and keep asking. So we can make questions softer.
Thank you for reading this post.
In addition to questioning, listening is also an essential skill. Please check the following if you are interested in listening.
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