This is the classics
It is amazing that this book was written in 1936, more than 80 years ago, and is still being sold. We can learn how to make friends & influence people from this book.
30 Principles
In this book, there is a total of 30 principles in 4 parts.
They are
Part1: The 3 fundamental techniques in handling people
Part2: The 6 ways to make people like you
Part3: The 12 ways to win people to your way of thinking
Part4: The 9 ways to change people without arousing resentment
Can you remember all 30 principles?
Narrow down to 3 principles
I squeeze 30 principles into 3 basic principles. Then we can remember it.
Don’t argue, blame, and criticize people
Praise, smile and appreciate people
Listen, sympathize, and take care of people
1. Don’t argue, blame, and criticize people
The first basic principle is simple. Don’t provide any negative feedback or feeling to people. The first basic principle includes 7 principles as shown below.
Part1-1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
Part3-1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Part3-2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You are wrong.”
Part3-3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Part4-2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Part4-4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Part4-5: Let the other person save face.
2. Praise, smile, and appreciate people
The second basic principle is to provide positive feedback and feeling to people. Total 11 principles are categorized in the second basic principle.
Part1-2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Part2-2: Smile.
Part2-6: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Part3-4: Begin in a friendly way.
Part4-1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Part4-3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Part4-4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Part4-6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Part4-7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Part4-8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Part4-9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
3. Listen, sympathize, and take care of people
The third basic principle is about how to understand people. A total of 10 principles are related to this third principle.
Part1-3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part2-1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
Part2-3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Part2-4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Part2-5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Part3-5: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Part3-6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Part3-7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Part3-8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Part3-9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Others
And I can’t include the following 3 principles into the above 3 basic principles.
Part3-10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
Part3-11: Dramatize your ideas.
Part3-12: Throw down a challenge.
Thank you for reading this post.
I think all 3 basic principle is simple and easy to understand. But it might be difficult to do.
Please check the website of Dale Carnegie.
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